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11 essential facts of life for people who don't drink coffee
1. Fellow adults regard you with a degree of suspicion when you say you don’t like coffee
You can feel them judging you with their eyes.
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2. You’re regularly asked questions like, “How do you even survive?”
And treated to tales of how they “actually couldn’t cope” without coffee.
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3. People often try to convince you that you’ve simply been drinking the wrong coffee
“Oh, you’ve only drank instant coffee? See, that’s where you’re going wrong. I guarantee if you have a Nespresso, you’ll never go back.”
Nope, I’m grand, thanks.
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4. You don’t know the difference between a cappuccino and a macchiato, and frankly, you couldn’t give two shites
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5. But you do occasionally find yourself unable to participate in conversations in the work kitchen
Person #1: Oh my God, I’m so wrecked. I’m going to need three coffees this morning.
Person #2: Saaaaame, I don’t know how people live without coffee.
You: *makes tea in silence*
fiercegifs / Tumblr fiercegifs / Tumblr / Tumblr
6. You don’t really relate to half the internet
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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7. If this is what coffee does to people, you don’t want any part of it
Tea drinkers would never be this intense.
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8. Going on a coffee run for someone else is extremely stressful
“Can I have a… grande… latte?”
Seriously, this is all Greek to you.
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9. To say nothing of trying to use a coffee machine
*fumbles for a few minutes with French press before giving up and offering to make tea instead*
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10. You’ve been known to have a hot chocolate on particularly wintry mornings
Sure, it may be only 9.45am, but you deserve hot drinks like everyone else.
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11. But hey — think of all the money you save by not drinking coffee
Who’s feeling smug now?
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